This week has been a tough week. I don’t even mind calling it a tough week, it has been difficult! I don’t think any particular thing has made it hard, it just has been. The pain has been close to unmanageable at times. I have been physically sick. My digestive system is clearly having some issues, and my stomach feels like it is constantly churning. I have been overly anxious. The fatigue has been horrible, and yet it is difficult to sleep. On top of all that I have been unable to do anything without ending up in tears. Just one of these ‘sensations’ can be difficult to cope with but put them all together and it just feels like too much.
This week I have been feeling like a failure. I have failed to get out of beds. I have failed in being a family member. I have failed in being a friend. I have found it difficult to cope.
In saying all that I have tried my best. I have tried to help my sister, by trying to run a few errands for her while she was at work to help her get ready for her holiday. I have tried to go to a yoga/pilates class to see if that would help. I tried by making sure I went to my appointment with the pain relief nurse. I tried to have a family day out with my nan and uncle. I tried to go over to my friends house. It all just ended in tears.
I don’t know why I am having a particular hard time of it this week but I am ready for this new week. A new week is coming and I am hoping for it to be better. I am hoping to be able to see my friends. I am hoping to be able to spend more time with my family. I am hoping to be able to continue to try working on myself both physically and mentally. I want my body and well-being to feel better, and to be better. As ridiculous as it sounds, I want to cry less this week. I don’t know what this week will bring but I am optimistic that it will be better.