This subject is a bit ‘ta-poo’… 

OK, so I don’t really know how to start so I’m just going to take the plunge and dive right in with this one.

Nobody really wants to talk about bowel movements! (if you are somebody that finds it uncomfortable then I wouldn’t read any further.) It is something that has never bothered me though. I think it is because I used to be a support worker and had to help with personal care many times, to me it is ‘just one of those things’. In fact, at every work outing we had we always ended up talking about poo – even through dinner. I sometimes forget that it’s not a topic of conversation that is so readily accepted though, and I do admit that sometimes I probably should read the room a bit better at times. However, if somebody asks me how I am or what has been going on and I’m having particular bad digestive issues, I’m going to say so.

So recently, I’ve been having particularly bad digestive issues. It’s been hard. I’ve been sick, I’ve had diarrhoea and I’ve been constipated and it’s really frustrating. Not only is it completely inconvenient but I can’t seem to find any pattern to it. I am also suffering from really bad abdominal pain. It’s horrible. Truth be told, I was actually considering going to A&E earlier the pain was so bad.

Although I can’t find a pattern to try and see what is causing diarrhoea or sickness, one thing I have noticed is it seems to involve food. Not any specific food, just food in general. I feel like whenever I eat something, my body wants it to come out. Sometimes it wants it to come straight out! And, truthfully I don’t think it cares as to how it happens so long as it’s out. I have found that it is after I eat that I need the toilet, sometimes right after eating, sometimes a wee half hour after but I need to go. Sometimes after eating,I feel sick. Sometimes I am being physically sick. Again, often it is straight after food, sometimes I have some time. It’s a very strange sensation. There are times where it feels like food isn’t going down, as though I’m not swallowing it properly. It feels like it just goes to the back of my throat and sits there waiting for my body to make it exit.

So like any new or change to any symptom or my health I told my GP. I guess he has a few ideas of what it could be, or things he wanted ruled out. He said he wanted me back in a few days later for blood tests, a urine sample and a stool sample. I can’t even remember everything he was testing for – there was a list.

I found the whole experience a bit traumatic. I don’t like needles so getting blood taken is never an easy task for me. However, if I go in and look away I can usually deal with it. I tend to pick a point in the opposite wall and just stare at it. I hardly even talk to the nurse through it. I need to concentrate on that point that I’ve chosen. I have done urine samples before. I hate them. I swear I need to pee so often that it’s a running joke amongst my friends that I have a tiny bladder, we all say it’s “the size of a pea”. It is my experience though, that when I need to give a urine sample, my bladder gets stage fright. It always chooses those moments to be made of steel and I have to do the full drinking loads, and have all the taps on full to get even the tiniest trickle. The problem I had was the stool sample. I have never given a stool sample before and when I was in with the GP I was too busy trying to process everything he was saying to me to ask any of my questions. Actually, I didn’t even know I had questions until I got home and was telling my papa how my appointment went.

Just a sample of questions I had (and I feel they were important questions!):

1) How do you get your sample in the pot?

2) How ‘fresh’  does it have to be?

3) How much goes into the pot? Does it have to be full? If not, how much is enough?

4) What do I do if my bowel, like my bladder, gets stage fright as I had to fast for my blood test so it wasn’t like I could just go and eat foods to help you move? (Incidentally, it did decide it wasn’t going to go. It was a nightmare. I had diarrhoea and then it decided it was not going to go).

So like any question I have, I asked my nearest and dearest and then when that failed I asked Google. So just some of the answers I got…

I asked my papa how to do a sample. I figured, he is at the age where he has to give samples for bowel screening so I thought he could maybe help. His reply first of all was to “put it in the pot”. Once I explained to him that I knew that, I meant how did I get it in the pot he said “catch it”.

Google was more helpful. Google suggested using clingfilm over the toilet to catch it and then putting it in the sample pot. I actually fully recommend this method. It works a treat!

My sisters boyfriend told me I had to “fill that pot right to the top” because “they want all the poo”. Then him and my sister laughed for ages afterwards. I decided my silver lining was that at least they were amused.

Even though Google was great for the cling film technique, one bit of advice I didn’t like was it told me that the sample should be as “fresh” as possible and if I got the sample more than 24hours before I had to hand it in then I was to put it in the fridge. PUT IT IN THE FRIDGE!! That was 100% NOT happening. I don’t care what happened but no way was I putting a pot of poo in my fridge! No thank you! I would’ve wanted to incinerate the fridge afterwards. Plus all the food stuff in there?!? Nope! Just no! I decided my plan was just to hand in my urine sample and get my bloods done and hand the stool sample in at a different time if I had to. Anything was, and is, better than even the thought of putting it in the fridge.

So I found all this a bit traumatic but my family loved it. It has provided them with so much entertainment. It is perfect material for some of their senses of humour. And I love them for it! I am worried about what might be wrong with me, what might be found, will I need more tests? But I welcome the distraction from all the laughter that my family are providing from it.

I think it is important to talk about bowel movements sometimes, especially to medical professionals if something is wrong. It is one of those things that is a bit embarrassing so you’ll maybe not bring it up with someone but you totally should! It can be an indication that something is up. But also, those medical people are human too! They poop too!

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Crohn’s and Colitis Awareness Week 2017

Friday 1st – Thursday 7th of December is Crohn’s and Colitis Awareness Week.

Check out http://www.crohnsandcolitis.org.uk for more information, tools and resources. Crohn’s and Colitis UK is a charity organisation that has been working for 35 years to provide people with help and support as they learn to live with this invisible illness. 

Be nice to one another, you never know what other people are dealing with in their lives. As you are trying to feel your way through your life, other people are trying to do the same. 

Spread awareness and help give invisible illnesses some visibility. The more people who are aware, the more understanding people who really need it can get. Hopefully, one day, a cure will be found but until then start conversations, help end stigma, help people with invisible illnesses get some understanding from society.

Lung Cancer Awareness Month 2017

 

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A poster from the Lung Cancer Awareness Month website.

 

November is Lung Cancer Awareness month. Lung cancer is the leading cause of death from cancer in both men and women.

Cancer is a horrible disease! I know so many people that have been affected by it, whether that be having cancer themselves or watching loved ones go through their battles. Even with Cancer being so widely known it is something that is not always spoken about. The very word Cancer brings about a lot of fear. In a lot of ways, it is like Voldemort in the Harry Potter series! The very name brings fear and uncertainty. Which is why the wizarding community started referring to Voldemort as “He Who Must Not Be Named” or “You Know Who”. Like Voldemort, Cancer is often avoided in talks and has been shortened to “The Big C”. I think it should be spoken about. Cancer is isolating, and avoiding talking about it only makes it more isolating. I understand that people don’t know what to say to a person who has a diagnosis. It is a lot for people to process. My advice is just to be there. Let the person know that you are there when they want to, and if they need to talk and just be there. Treat the person with dignity and respect and don’t make them feel that they are alone. It really is that simple.

Cancer begins in cells in our body. Cells in our bodies are what makes up the organs and tissue in them. Our bodies heal, grow and repairs itself by cells dividing and new ones being created. Sometimes these can become abnormal and they keep on dividing and creating more abnormal cells that can come together and for a lump, or a tumour. A tumour is not always cancerous though.

The most common symptoms of lung cancer are:

  • A cough for 3 or more weeks or a change in a cough that you’ve had for a while
  • A chest infection that doesn’t get better, or repeated chest infections
  • Feeling breathless and wheezy for no reason
  • Chest or shoulder pain that does not get better
  • A hoarse voice for 3 or more weeks
  • Coughing up blood
  • Losing weight for no obvious reason
  • Fatigue
  • The end of your fingers have changed shape (larger or rounder – clubbing)

If you or someone you know have any of these symptoms, it is best to talk to a doctor and get it checked out.

There are two main types of lung cancer – non-small cell lung cancer and small cell lung cancer. Treatment depends on the type of lung cancer you have. Small cell lung cancer is so named due to the way that the cells look under the microscope. It is fast-growing cancer and spreads quickly.

My nana was primarily diagnosed with small cell lung cancer. When she was diagnosed it had already spread to her adrenal gland. It is thought that it may have spread to her head but she was too ill at the time for the tests to know, but she was showing symptoms that it had.

There are so many different charities and organisations that provide care and support to people and their families through the diagnosis. A quick google search and you will find a lot. Below are links that are full of information, resources and further links to look at.

Check out the Lung Cancer Awareness Month website to find real stories about lung cancer from lung cancer patients, survivors, caregivers and family and friends, http://lcam.org/stories-of-hope/.

The Beatson website has a huge list of different sites for support and information about all different types of Cancer, http://www.beatson.scot.nhs.uk/content/default.asp?page=s17, as does the IASLC (the International Association for the Study of Lung Cancer) https://www.iaslc.org/patient-resources/advocacy-partners. The list on the IASLC website may be more beneficial for people outside of the UK.

Self care awareness week

This past week, the 13th – 19th of October, it has been self-care awareness week. In some ways, it feels a bit redundant posting about it on its last day. However, I think it is important to raise awareness, even on the last day of national awareness raising weeks!

Self-care is about looking after yourself. It is about eating a healthy balanced diet, exercising and looking after your mental health and well being. It is about learning when, and how, you can take care of yourself, when a pharmacist could help and when to get advice from a healthcare professional. Self-care is important when you have a chronic condition, it helps to understand your condition and learn how to live with it. Being able to self-care offers empowerment and allows people to play an active part in their own health and well-being care. Self-care is not an idea that is around just for a week annually! Self-care is for every day! Self-care is for life!

The self-care forum is a good place to get support and resources to help give you ideas on how to self-care. It is particularly good as it offers material on physical health and mental health.

Self-care is easy to do, but it is easy to forget about it. I know, sounds like such a crazy statement but it is true! In today’s world it is easy to be overworked, be distracted by all the technology out there and it is so easy to grab fast food, easy to binge eat, binge drink. As well as all of that, it is so easy to isolate yourself from people, to push people you care about away, not see your friends and family. If you have a chronic condition it is easy to give in to it. My papa calls it “lying down to it”. I know the difficulties, it is all struggles I have myself. It is easy to lose yourself in all of this, to lose feeling good about yourself, to know your own worth. Small things like making sure you eat a balanced diet, drinking water throughout the day, doing activities can all help. Thirty minutes of activity a day is enough to help keep a person healthy.

Incidentally, Monday of this week (13th November) was national kindness day. Being kind is another important factor in life that should not be kept for one day a year! Kindness should be shared every day. If every person showed a little bit of kindness a day the world would be a much better place. All you need to do is look at news coverage (whatever way you do that – social media, watching the news, reading the newspapers, listening to the radio) and you can instantly see that the world would not go wrong with some kindness shared! I cannot fathom how some people think it is ok to treat people the way that so many of us are treated. On Monday I witnessed a person a bumping my car! Luckily nobody was harmed and there is little damage done, but it is stressful when things like that happen. We did everything as we should – swap details etc and we sorted everything out. The woman has thanked me for being nice about the situation. On the one hand, I fully appreciate that the woman has thanked me for being nice to her, and I do understand that situations like this are stressful and difficult but it makes me sad that she felt she needed to thank me for it. I did not react the way I did because it was national kindness day, I just treated the woman like a fellow human being! Me overacting would not have changed anything. The woman was upset and embarrassed enough that she hit my car, she did not need me making her feel any worse. Being kind increases good, positive feelings in yourself and other people.

So this past week I have increased my water intake and I have tried to be active for at least 30 minutes a day. I have tried going for walks to keep physical but also to get me out the house for a while. I like going outside and taking pictures of things I like or find interesting. They often look awful, I am definitely no photographer, but I like doing it. I got new duvvet set and my bed was changed. That feeling of getting into a fresh, clean bed is unbeatable. Another activity I have been up to this week, is I have been giving knitting a go again. I took the small amount I had kind of managed out and I started again. It is not neat but I am doing it myself and I think I know what it is I am doing now. It is just putting it into practice! I am going to keep at it this time.

After all, “practice makes perfect.” This has been difficult for me. My nana was amazing at knitting and it is something I have always wanted to do but have never been able to pick up. The last time I started this project my nana was still alive and she was just mystified at my progress.

Things were happening that I had no idea how they happened – holes were appearing, I was adding stitches, I somehow managed to take all the stitches off the needles. We laughed so hard at my attempts we cried at times. I feel like it is important for me to master knitting now though, I think it will be beneficial for my grieving process. I feel quite proud that I have been able to start again and I think I am actually getting it now. I also had a great night last night. I met my best friend and we went a walk around my local town looking at the Christmas lights. Claire went my speed, and let me use her to hold onto for support the whole time. We stopped walking whenever I had to – either because I had to, or I saw something I wanted to take a photograph of. Then we went out for dinner and bought a lot of good food. Good, warm, comfort food. We got some sides that we could share and we just chatted the whole time. We spoke about everything and it was nice. I smiled, a lot! Actually, I smiled more yesterday than I have done for a long, long time. I felt ‘normal’, which is something I haven’t felt in a while. It was a Saturday night and I

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was spending time with my best friend. I really needed it. Truthfully, I did not actually know how much I needed it until we were out.

I have included some websites at the bottom if anybody needs any random kindness ideas or self-care tips. If anything can be taken away from this post, I would say, that on your journey of feeling through this life remember:

  • Self-care is important, look after yourself – physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. You are awesome! You are important.
  • Take some “me time” – do something you enjoy, relax, feel good.
  • Be kind! Be kind to each other, be kind to yourself! As cliche as it sounds “share the love”.

http://kindnessuk.com/

https://www.kindness.org/

http://www.selfcareforum.org/

Lest We Forget

Today is Remembrance Sunday.

Remembrance Sunday is a day to come together and offers an opportunity to reflect and show respect for the sacrifices made by the armed forces in past, and current, conflicts. Especially those who lost their lives.

In recent times there has been ‘controversy’ about wearing a poppy. I don’t understand this, personally. The significance of the poppy is like feminism – has lost its meaning somewhere along the line. People argue that the poppy is now a political symbol. It is used to glorify war, a symbol to support war. That is not the case. The poppy is associated with remembrance as it is a flower that grows naturally in conditions where the earth has been disturbed, which is the case for war and battles. It is said that poppies grew in fields after the Napoleonic wars, and then again was the only flower to grow in otherwise barren fields after the First World War. The poppy appeal was started by the Royal British Legion to raise funds for veterans and their families after the effects of war. I believe the poppy is a symbol, not only of remembrance but of hope! Hope for those veterans, and those serving in the armed forces, that aid and services will be available to them and their families. The Poppy is traditionally worn on the left-hand side of a jacket as it is meant to represent those that we are remembering are close to our hearts.

“Dulce et decorum est” by Wilfred Owen paints a horrendous picture of what life was like for a soldier during World War One. I think poems such as this one, is particularly powerful since it shows just how different this war was to others before it. You can see the atrocities that these men, many of them just young boys, faced. The poem end,

“My friend, you would not tell with such high zest

To children ardent for some desperate glory,

The old Lie: Dulce et decorum est

Pro patria mori.”

The Latin “Dulce et decorum est pro patria mori” translates to “It is sweet and fitting to die for one’s country.”

This weekend I have been listening to “Greater love hath no man” by John Ireland. When I was younger I used to sing in a church choir. ‘Greater love hath no man’ was sung at Remembrance Sunday Evensong. It has always stuck with me. I remember singing it fighting back the tears in the cloisters during the service. I don’t know if it’s the words or the music that touches me so much, but I think it is a beautiful piece of music. “Greater love hath no man than to lay down his life for his friend.” This is exactly what every armed forces member is effectively doing. They are ‘fighting for their country’, they are fighting to ‘benefit’ those back at home – their families and friends. If you have never heard it, I recommend looking it up and having a listen.

The effects of the two World Wars and other conflicts have impacted people in countries all over the world. My great papa Peter was in the merchant navy and later a royal marine. He used to tell us a lot about the time, that he was 14/15 and was nearly arrested during the Spanish civil war in 1936. He was also one of the crews stationed on the HMS Belfast during the Battle of North Cape. My nan and my great Auntie have stories about experiences through the blitz. I cannot even begin to imagine the horrors that people have witnessed. Remembrance day and remembrance Sunday are days for people to gather together and remember. It is important to remember! Men and women sacrifice so much in the armed forces. It is important to reflect and remember the lives lost through war! Especially in today’s world! You turn on the news, and there is some horrifying story about conflict and war. The way the world’s politics are going, we very well could be approaching another world war. I hope that is not the case. Days like today are important for this. People need to remember the destruction and the unnecessary loss of life in war. My papa survived the war but so many people did not. The picture above is of wooden crosses with poppies on them that are available that can be put at graves for remembrance. We have written my papa’s name on one, the other one is for my uncle. We have placed the crosses on the respective graves. It is important to remember, to reflect, to learn. It is important to honour and respect those who have died for us, and who put their lives in danger for us. It is important to acknowledge the great sacrifices that our armed forces make for us.

Here is a link if you would like to read Dulce est decorum est in its entirety, https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poems/46560/dulce-et-decorum-est

 

 

It’s been a while….

It has been quite a while since I last blogged. Very nearly a whole month to be exact. I have just not been able to do it. I have not been feeling very well lately, at all. If you know me, or have been reading my blog you will know that I find a lot of things difficult but I have been trying to be more positive about things. I have been trying working on my health (my physical health, mental health and emotional health) and my general wellbeing. Like everything else on my journey, I was succeeding in some aspects and not so much in others. That is until last month, when I feel like I just hit a wall.

At the end of September the pain nurse advised a change in medication as the one I was on did not seem to be doing anything for my pain, but just giving me a bunch of side effects. Some of which were very difficult for me to cope with. So I had to decrease those tablets (let’s call them Tab A) and then start taking and increasing another tablet (Tab B). I was then taken off of Tab B after a short time as I had a bad reaction to them. So I was to start again – decrease Tab B to then start and increase Tab C. However, I also had problems with Tab C as I was taken off of a tablet I have been on for over a year to go onto this new one. So while I was coming off of Tab B, and starting Tab C to then increase that dosage, I was having to decrease the pill I have been on with the aim of coming off that one. All medication has side effects so I’m sure you can imagine the effect that all these medication changes have been having on me. As well as this treatment plan I have been issued other tablets to try and help me sleep. I stopped taking them though as they made me feel worse. No lie, my bedroom shelf is starting to look like a pharmacy! My GP told me that I was going to “be in for a rough few weeks” with all these medication changes so I knew it was going to be challenging.

Even with the knowledge that the changeover of medications was going to be difficult, I still took it quite hard. I have been very cold, but then very hot, the pain has increased, the little motivation I had disappeared, my appetites changed, my skin has changed, I’ve been emotional. Most days I stay in the house, usually in my bed. I feel like I have no ability to leave it. I feel like it is too painful. I feel like I do not have the energy. It has been hurting me to colour in, which has been a go to activity for me for years. If I feel stressed or need to calm down I go to the colouring books, with my felt tips and take the time to colour in. It has been a ‘coping technique’ for me for a while now. I was starting to find it difficult as I feel my coordination has been lacking recently, but then it was still able to keep me distracted for a while. My problems now include it feeling like the pens are rubbing off my fingers and it hurts to hold the pens.

I have found it difficult to go to my yoga/pilates class and I haven’t even been going to walk through the pool. I think it is a mixture of feeling ill and having no motivation. At my last pain management physio appointment the nurse told me that she wasn’t going to be giving me another appointment at this time. She would like to give me time to try and get my medication sorted and settled before refocusing on attending my classes and doing the specific exercises that she gives me for “homework”. I’ve just to continue trying to move so that I do not stiffen up too much. Instead, I have to focus on keeping in contact with my friends and family and spend time with them when I can. She feels this will be more beneficial for me at this time. Once I am more settled then I have to phone her and make another appointment for us to set more physical goals. She also told me that I have to “stop being so hard on myself!” This is something that I have been told multiple times throughout my life. It is just very irritating feeling that you used to be able to do something, or should be able to do something and cannot now. I don’t know why but her telling me this seemed to really resonate with me. As I said, I have been told this a thousand times before. I don’t know what made that time any different? It got me thinking though. I think in some ways, on top of feeling rubbish, I am also punishing myself for not being able to do things. Which is not really fair to myself. I had been making an effort. I was having victories. I just need to take some time to feel a bit better, and hopefully get my medication and sleep sorted out and I’ll be back on track. This could be, or is, just a bump in the road on my journey. Just an obstacle to overcome.

I decided to get a flu vaccination this year too, which in hindsight was maybe not a good idea when I had so much going on in my body already. However, hopefully I will have protection from the flu! I will post more about my decision to get the flu jab another time, I think. On my last GP visit I told him that I was still feeling horrible and we spoke about some of the symptoms/side effects I have been experiencing and he checked me over. I have ‘flu like symptoms’ and he has given me anti-inflammatories to take as I have been having really bad earache and I also have tablets to take to protect my stomach lining with all these changes. My shelf is even more like a pharmacy unit! I am lucky though, throughout all this my GP has been really good and he is listening to me and he is having me in to keep uptodate, and to “keep an eye on things.” Especially while I am so run down. However, on a positive note, I had very good blood pressure! I feel this is a victory!

Things still feel very much up in the air for me. I still feel rubbish all the time but I also feel like I am being neglectful in not blogging. As well as feeling ill, I feel like the longer that I haven’t posted, the harder it is has been to get back into it. I was really hoping that once I started something would come, and it has! Another victory! I have been trying to be easier on myself, and I have been trying to do things that aren’t staying in bed all day. Try is all I can do though! Anastacia’s lyrics,

“Cause I’m sick and tired

Of always being sick and tired,”

keep going through my head. I know the song is not about being physically sick and tired but I feel the line is very apt for the way I am currently feeling! I am “sick and tired of always being sick and tired!” This post is my first step to try feeling my way through this hurdle, the first try at getting over that bump in my journey.

My Phone Was Possessed!

Over the last wee while my phone has not been working properly. I do not know what was wrong with it, even now. My best friend’s theory is that it was possessed. Truth be told, it is as good a theory as any. It began to overheat. One day my wall paper disappeared, leaving behind a black background.Then it started to restart itself periodically. After that sound stopped on phone calls. You would type in/ find the phone number, click dial and silence. You could look at the screen and it would show that you were on a call, with the time ticking on but there was silence when you had the phone at your ear. This would only happen intermittently. Next thing that happened was the screen would randomly stop working. It was as though it wasn’t reacting to touch, which isn’t exactly great for a touch screen phone! The next thing thing that started to occur was when you were trying to send a text, the screen would start flashing and then stop responding. I had to finally accept defeat when the phone’s torch would randomly come on and then I wouldn’t be able to get it back off again because of course the screen would not be responding. So, really the theory of it being possessed might not actually be a crazy one. It got to the point that I just couldn’t deal with it any longer so I dragged myself to the shop to get it seen to and it got sent away to get fixed and I received a stand in phone. This phone was ok, it took me a while to try and get used to it, but it was ok.

As sad as it is, I was really excited when I got the call on Monday saying that my phone was back from repair and I could go pick it up. With getting the stand in phone, I realised that I had saved my contacts to my phone so I had lost all my contacts. On one hand I was upset about this, but I have since started to look at it as a bit of a cleanse. I am one of those people who never delete contacts, so I had many numbers in my contact list, many I hadn’t even contacted in a long, long time. I was looking forward in setting the phone up again and, I was just looking forward to having my own phone back, even if it had to be completely wiped to get sorted. I looked at the form that was handed back to me and in the box that was meant to contain what was wrong with the phone was blank. The conclusion I could draw from this was, nobody could find out exactly what was wrong with it.

The very next day I had to take the phone back to the shop as the phone still wasn’t properly working. The screen was still being intermittently unresponsive. The shop had to send it away again. This time the phone I received as a stand in was not a smart phone. Actually I had not seen a phone like it since I’ve been in high school! I had forgotten how to use a phone that wasn’t a smart phone. I know, there are worse problems than forgetting how to use T9 predictive text, and how to set it so that I don’t need to use it. I never did like T9 predictive text!

Now I have always had a bit of difficulty working technology, so much so that I actively tell people that I am cursed when it comes to technology! (Some people even have start to believe me). But for somebody who is not tech savvy, it is amazing how much of my life is actually connected to my mobile phone. It’s amazing how much it can be taken for granted. For example, before the shop decided to send my phone away for repair, it ran some tests on my phone to see if they could fix it first. They sent me away to wander around for half an hour. I walked out the shop to go window shop in some other ones. I went to check the time and realised I could not. I do not have a watch because I always just use my phone for the time. Then I thought to myself that it was fine, I would just phone home and ask… The problem with this being I HAD NO PHONE! Naturally, this week so far I have wanted to take a photo but I don’t know how to be able to save it, plus I know it wouldn’t be great quality, I have needed to use Google Maps for directions but did not have a phone I would be able to, had people contact me through the Facebook Messenger App so I have had to get back to them very, very late. Also when I turned the phone on I had the numbers saved of some random people on it (makes sense since it was a stand in phone) but I do not want to mistakenly leave any numbers of my loved ones on the phone once I get my own back so I have not saved any numbers which means I couldn’t contact people, couldn’t find what number was theirs and on some occasions I have received texts from friends and I’ve had to text them and ask who they are. I use my phone to write this blog, I use it to keep notes, I use it as a diary with all my appointments on it, I have apps on it to help me keep record of tablets, of my symptoms, track habits. I have apps set up to remind me when to take my medicine. I use it to keep in touch with support groups. I use my phone’s camera to take pictures of everything – things I like, things that calm me, things I want to remember, something that amused me. Absolutely everything.

I have moaned a lot about how I am not technologically minded. I tell people technology hates me (which I firmly believe it does!). However, I have been finding not having my own phone very difficult. Hopefully when I eventually get it back, it will be properly repaired… and hopefully no longer possessed.